Glitter instead of Duct Tape?

Another use for Glitter.

About 3 years ago I hit the deep sleep as I would term it. A state of mind where I was going through the motions but not fully being in the moment most of the time. There were glimpses of total clarity, enjoyment and happiness then more deep sleep.

Many things contributed to me getting to that state but they all originated with me internalizing all that was happening to me and beating myself down about all of it. My job going back 7 years was at peak stress and it consumed me. Doing well and stretching myself to do whatever it took (and not asking for help) was only the beginning. Fertility struggles second and then multiple health issues that attributed to not being able to have a full term pregnancy finally drove me to break.

My whole life I was always the strong one, that person in our life that can do IT ALL, ALL THE TIME. Cook, Clean, Exercise, work full time, school full time, try to have a baby, travel, be crafty, always perfectly put together, ultimate host and good time GAL. The more I felt overwhelmed or unsuccessful the more things I took on and used things like cleaning, organizing and other tasks as my outlet. (Nuts I know I am overwhelmed so I take on more).

I hit peak unhappy 3 years ago and these last 3 I have been treading water in all things life because I never dealt with me and how I felt about me as a result of all the pressure I put on myself to be the “PERFECT” me I though others wanted. Never once did I ask “S what do you want?” Never once was ME important and that realization was hard to swallow.

Fast forward to about 4 months ago where all over social media several of my friends traveling and posting about the fun self-help readYou are a Badass by Jen Sincero. As a go to GAL I looked it up and asked a friend to borrow her book to pass time on a flight to East Coast. 

WOWZA  and HOLY CATS !!!

My eyes opened and I devoured the book, flipped the script and have not looked back. I have overcome so much in my own head over these past few months and now navigate life with a different outlook… living in the moment. Don’t misunderstand and think I just checked out and now do nothing. NO, NO. BUT I do prioritize and do what really needs to be done to live a happy life.

Reframing negative situations that trigger my emotions and turning them into opportunities. I ask myself what I want daily and continue to dig deeper into why and how I will get it. My path is new but paved with streets of SPARKLE. The big sleep is now replaced with inner sunshine which I know is joy and fulfillment. I feel good, I love myself and each passing day learning to love myself even more, but most of all I respect myself and give myself breaks.

I still have hard days where things trigger me and I want to revert to what I know and almost immediately stop and ask myself why in world??? That old way did not work for me and I flip the script. My confidence is rising and my future is slowly coming more and more into focus. I have the outline, vision board for a plan but I am excited about all the prospects and the unknown. Fear is a struggle so more on that aspect later. 

For me using glitter as duct tape to fix stuff so I can live and spread the sparkle is TOTALLY working